This isn’t going to be some long-winded dedication to the practice of exercise. I’m not going to talk about how such-and-such a program/gym/trainer changed my life or about how much I love working out, because that would be super dishonest of me.

The first time I did a real workout, I threw up after 15 minutes of cardio. It was 2007, and I had decided at age 23 and without any real athletic experience outside of youth soccer that I would take up jiu-jitsu at a place near my house in Madison, Wis. The session started with what seemed like an unending number of jumping jacks, pushups and burpees, and my body quickly let me know that things were going wrong, at which point I decorated the parking lot with my lunch.

Since that time, I’ve been a member at no fewer than three different do-it-yourself gyms, where I didn’t do much aside from run a short distance on a treadmill or ride a stationary bike for like 30 minutes during a lunch break. I trained in various parks with a man who was sort of like a kettlebell shaman. After moving to Portland, I found a gym that did small-group training close to my apartment, so I tried that for a year. Since the aborted jiu-jitsu attempt in my early 20s, I’ve gone back to martial arts twice in order to try to trick myself into exercising by also doing something where I learn at the same time. I’ve attempted a handful of times to “enjoy running.”

But nothing really stuck. I couldn’t motivate myself to have an effective workout by just showing up to a large workout facility and trying to decide what to do. I got bored with those first small-group trainings I found and am past the point in my life where I want to dedicate a significant amount of time to practicing combat sports with other sweaty grown-ups. I’d probably still be training with my kettlebell guru if I lived in Wisconsin, but I had to get out of the winter. I continue to hate running.

My most recent change in workout routines occurred about two years ago. I had been training at a jiu-jitsu spot in southeast Portland for about 18 months, but for a variety of reasons my enthusiasm for the work (and, as a result, my attendance at the gym) was falling off very quickly. If I was going to have to exercise, I reasoned, it was probably better in my mid-30s to do something where I wasn’t literally getting beaten up.

The number-one thing I look for in a gym is the proximity to where I live. I already have a hard enough time getting motivated to work out, and I’m definitely not going to be motivated to drive more than like 20 minutes to do it. So once my time on the grappling mat was winding down, I searched for something that was close enough to my east Portland house to not be an inconvenience.

And that’s how I met my friend Marco.

One of the closer places to appear in my search results was PDXFIT, tucked into a court right near where SE Foster Rd. meets I-205. I looked at the gym’s website and reached out to Marco Sanchez, the owner and head trainer. We arranged a time to do a fitness assessment, talked about membership fees and off I went.

Once again, I’m not going to go on and on about how this particular gym totally changed my mindset about exercise and that now I’m addicted to weightlifting or whatever, but the whole point of this piece is to talk about how, for me anyway, the right trainer makes all the difference when it comes to my commitment to going to the gym.

Most of the trainers I’ve worked with have one thing in common: they can’t possibly fathom why everyone doesn’t put the same effort into physical health as they do. To a large degree, I’ve found that regardless of what you say your goals are, most trainers are going to basically put you on the same program and hold you to the same standards to which they hold themselves. They have a hard time, for example, understanding why someone might not want to wake up at 7:30 on a Saturday morning to get to the one weekend session they offer. And don’t even try to get into a conversation about food unless you want to be righteously shamed.

Am I exaggerating a bit? Sure, but not by much. So when I first met Marco and he asked me what my goals at the gym were and I said “Uh I don’t know. My goal is to come to the gym with some sort of consistency,” and he said “That sounds great,” I knew we were going to get along fine.

Don’t get me wrong, I want to be in reasonably good health, but I’m long past caring whether I have abdominal definition or that bicep vein that you can see when some really-in-shape dudes wear t-shirts. I’m a 35-year-old happily married non-athlete, so it’s a real challenge to find the motivation to do more than I have to do to counteract the pizza and beer and keep my blood pressure within the normal range. Of course I want to look good for my wife, but that’s a very different ballgame than being a single guy trying to attract new partners.

Marco gets all of that, which is why he doesn’t harass me about the food choices I make that might differ from his. In fact, one day I got to the gym and there was a sixer of Zoiglhaus IPA waiting for me, because the brewery is across the street and he knows your man likes his beer.

As a result of Marco’s realistic attitude toward my fitness goals, I’m far more motivated to go to the gym just because I like hanging out with my buddy. Yes, I am his client, but we’ve also become pretty good friends as a result of the time we spend around each other, and it’s because of that relationship that I’ve stuck with PDXFIT for all this time. I’ll always need someone to tell me what to do in order to work out effectively, so it’s good that I actually like spending time with the person who puts me through those paces.

Marco’s workouts are always well organized and bring everyone right to the line. He’s always encouraging and never puts anyone in a position where they are unsafe. If a particular movement needs to be modified, Marco has three or four alternatives for everything. He makes sure to give every individual person in class his attention, and he’s great about providing constructive feedback.

I can’t say I haven’t enjoyed the results either. I never thought I’d be able to deadlift or squat my bodyweight at 35, but it turns out I can lift a lot more than that. I’m far from looking like a bodybuilder, but I am the strongest I’ve ever been in my life and I sort of love it. Perhaps more importantly, I can confidently get through a strenuous cardio workout without feeling like I need to pray to the porcelain gods. That’s progress by anyone’s standard.

The other part of working out that has been helpful for me is the energy burn. My machine runs a little faster than most people, so having a safe, organized way to wear myself out has been terrific for my mental health. I find when I go to the gym I’m usually less prone to get annoyed by dumb stuff that doesn’t really matter, and when it’s been a handful of days since I last burned off that extra energy I can feel the difference.

So, yeah, I like the results, but I still don’t love the fact that I have to put forth the exhausting physical effort to get them. I’m basically sore all the time, and most of my major joints sound like crinkle paper when I move. I can’t even imagine how people feel who do these sorts of workouts every day. If I could stop exercising, eat whatever I wanted and still be in reasonable health, I’d make that choice in a heartbeat. Unfortunately that’s not how it works, so I figure why not try to get stronger while I still have the available testosterone and functioning limbs.

I have a ton of respect for people who take really good care of their bodies. Being able to run a marathon or compete in a high-level jiu-jitsu competition or even cut out junk food from one’s life takes a level of commitment I don’t care to match. That said, there’s a significant healthy middle-ground for those of us who are content just trying to keep our bodies working.

For me, that means with trying to exercise four days out of any seven-day stretch. This can mean going to the gym and getting an hour of structured work with Marco and the other PDXFIT regulars. It can mean going on a short hike through a park or walking around my neighborhood while I listen to a podcast. It can mean riding my stationary bike while I watch half of a movie my wife wouldn’t enjoy. Just moving my body in some way with a bit of consistency has made a lot of difference.

Am I always successful in meeting this (far-from-hardcore) exercise goal? Definitely not. There have been multi-week stretches where the most exercise I get is taking my dog for a walk around the block so he’ll poop. While I try not to eat too much food late in the evening, there are a lot of nights where a big bowl of sugary cereal or a couple of hot dogs sound like just the right thing around 11:30. Not coincidentally, these are also the nights I drink a few beers at home, which is also something I’ve tried more recently to limit.

See? I’m a human being. I’ve been exercising with varying levels of commitment for 15 years, and that’s long enough to know I’ll never love it. I have to do it, though, so I’m very thankful that Marco and the rest of the awesome folks at PDXFIT put up with me. Marco knows exactly how I feel about what we do, but he also knows how much I respect the enormous effort he and his partner Leslie have put into creating an environment where everyone can feel welcome walking in and just tired enough walking out.

Plus, I have yet to throw up there. (This is not a challenge, Marco.)